when someone gets "owned" around here, we say "owned IN THE FACE!" Owning something IN THE FACE (it always has to be in all caps) is so much more satisfying.
Now, I have made an indelible mark on the English language. My work here is done.
2. All of these things happened yesterday:
Out of tea. (Coffee is gross, people. Tea is good for you and doesn't give you nasty breath.)
Took Jill and Edmund to the library, where Jill and I went to Toddler Storytime.
Jill kept swatting the hand of a would-be friend (we don't like to be touched).
Edmund used his 30 minutes of unsupervised library time to check out 59 DVDs which are due in one week.
Emergency Costco run.
COSTCO WAS OUT OF TEA!!!!!!
Would they EVER EVER EVER run out of coffee?!???
Stopped at overpriced grocery store WHERE THEY WERE OUT TOO! At least the shelf for the big boxes (100 bags $4.99) was empty, so I got 48 bags for $3.99. Normally, Costco has 300 for like $6 or $7.
Went home. Opened back of car, 24 eggs immediatlely fell out and broke on the driveway. Jill stomped on a few on her way in the house.
While I went outside to clean up the damage, Jill stomped her eggy, snowy, salty boots all over the upholstered living room sofa.
Tears. Hot angry tears.
Then I called Patrick and itemized all of the above and included complaints about not watching Once Upon a Time with me the previous night, because HE doesn't know anyone who likes it.
Sorry Internet friends. Your opinions hold no cred with him.
Next, I put away the groceries and sent Edmund and Jill to watch a few of these animated DVDs about Greek Mythology (they are only 23 minutes each) so I could lie down on the sofa, before I had to drive to tutoring.
While I laid there, I thought about Bobbi, and how her husband is facing six months of chemo but she's still tweeting smiley faces.
Then the dog freaked out because someone was coming to the door.
Could it be the UPS man with my fabric for the Embroider-along?
No, it was my true love, with 24 brand new intact eggs and this bouquet of flowers.
3. No more self-pity. Pinky swear.
|Kudos to Clan Donaldson for the e-card!|
3. Who doesn't love a good conversion story?
|More flower pics, because they make me happy.|
4. Want to see John Watson from Sherlock compared to an adorable hedgehog?
|Of course you do!|
Heather's tale reminds me of the time we had three under four, and had just moved into this fixer-upper house, which came with a pink-tiled bathroom and a pink toilet seat.
Right after we moved in, on the hottest day of the year (no a/c here!), with our six-week old newborn (crazy much?), we got some take-out from KFC. Covered in fried chicken grease and instant mashed potatoes and gravy, my two toddlers were wrestled into the bathtub.
I took a moment of private time to use the facilties, only to discover that I now had KFC gravy on my behind.
KFC gravy is roughly the same color as 1960's shellfish pink bathroom decor.
You never wanted to know that, did you?
(I admit I am curious to know what kind of pictures Heather would draw to tell my story. Perhaps that's why it happened to me and not to her.)
7. A Very Large Thank You to all who gave me splendid ideas for new baby books that are NOT about sibling jealousy. I am going to compile a complete list with the suggestions from the combox and the Facebook page and publish it around here somewhere. New Baby Books For the World!
Catch some less awkward takes over at Jen's link-up.